A good friend from grad school recently had a baby boy and wrote the story of his birth on her blog. That has inspired me to share with you the story of Kate’s birth even though it occurred nearly a year ago. Ever since Kate was born, I have been intrigued by the stories of women’s labors and deliveries because they are so unique. Kate’s birth story is no exception.
I wrote down my daughter’s birth story about a week after she was born while it was still fresh on my mind so that I would have a written detailed account so that one day when she is older I can tell Kate the amazing story of how she was born. To begin, I have to give credit to two remarkable people: my sister-in-law Jen Mayes and my husband Daniel, who both experienced and supported me through this awesome event of endurance. Without their support I would probably have succumbed to drugs or murder.
Here is Kate’s birth story:
My labor began on Sunday evening, October 26, with some nausea and cramping. I really didn’t know that I was experiencing pre-labor symptoms because for a first-time mom, it can be tricky discerning what is labor and what is just feeling icky in third trimester last-stage pregnancy. But the next day I called Jen and after describing how I had felt, she said I was having contractions. Wow! I remember feeling excited and anxious about my baby girl’s impending arrival. On Monday, though, the nausea and cramps had disappeared, so I decided to make Kate’s birthday cake: a homemade devil’s food cake with chocolate cream cheese icing. Yummy!
Tuesday morning was a different story. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. with contractions that were becoming increasingly intense and closer together. As I had learned in our 12+ weeks of Bradley childbirth classes, I wrote down the time and length of each contraction to see if I could discern a pattern emerging. I didn’t think these were Braxton Hicks contractions because they seemed to be getting stronger and lasting longer, but I wanted to make sure before calling the midwife.
At 7:00 a.m. I decided to call the midwife who suggested that we come in at 8:30 when the office opened to get checked. At the time, Daniel was getting ready for work and really didn’t think I was in labor, but as contractions came every five minutes, I began to believe we would be having a baby that day and suggested that he pack our bags. Daniel still didn’t think it was time but did as I asked. I can’t say I was excited like the women in the Bradley books were because honestly I was terrified. I didn’t know what I was doing, what was going to happen, or if I could even get through the labor and delivery. But Daniel loaded the car with our bags while I continued to have contractions.
The car ride to the West End Women’s Health Center in downtown Nashville was not fun, especially since we were driving in rush hour traffic. But Daniel played my “soothing” Baby Einstein lullaby music, which I had gotten for Kate, and I kept track of my contractions. At this point, the contractions were getting a little more consistent, and we could tell when the next one would come.
When we finally arrived at the midwife’s office, the midwife on duty, Emma, checked me, and I was dilated between 2 and 3 centimeters. She said that we would be having a baby today and suggested that we go to the mall and walk around, get something to eat, and relax for a few hours until I was dilated more. Then, at that moment, it finally hit Daniel and me that we were really about to have a baby.
Going to a mall did not at all sound appealing to me. Who wants to walk around The Mall at Green Hills in sweats panting in labor? Instead, I wanted to check into a hotel where I could lie down, take a shower, and have some privacy, but we decided that most hotels wouldn’t let us check in at 9:00 in the morning and we didn’t want to spend $100 for a few hours. We ended up going to Panera down the street where I ate an Asiago cheese bagel and drank lemonade. I remember talking to a few people between contractions and telling them I was in labor. It was exciting but surreal.
After eating breakfast, we drove down the road to Centennial Park and considered taking a tour of the Parthenon (what were we thinking?!), but after walking in the gusting wind up the steps, we decided that a tour was not such a good idea. It was all I could do to stand up! The contractions were rushing stronger, harder, and closer together, and they felt like a wave crashing over me every time they came on. We opted instead to sit in the car, and for a good 2 hours I labored in the passenger seat of the Pilot listening to the Baby Einstein CD over and over again. Daniel timed my contractions and helped me get through each one. I remember worrying about running out of gas because the car was on empty but we didn’t. When I felt like I no longer had control over my contractions and had become chilled and nauseous, I told Daniel it was time to go to the hospital.
When we got to Vanderbilt Medical Center, we had a time trying to figure out where to park. A parking attendant got us to the right location, but we somehow ended up at valet parking. I was afraid Daniel would get separated from me, but I was really feeling too badly to communicate these fears. I was shaking so hard that I couldn’t stand up. While Daniel worked to get me a wheelchair, I had another contraction and thought I would die. The valet finally put me in a wheelchair, wheeled me inside and told me he had checked me in. There I sat in front of the large glass windows searching frantically for Daniel who was parking our car (in valet parking by the way) and not knowing what to do. I sat helpless, shaking and scared. Only a couple of minutes passed and Daniel found me. He rushed me into the check-in and past the waiting line of people to the nurse in charge who directed us to Labor & Delivery where they were waiting for us.
We checked into our room where Linda, my midwife, and Emily, my nurse, were waiting. They ran an EFM (electronic fetal monitor) strip to check on Kate, who was doing fine, and then checked my cervix. I was dilated to 5 centimeters. I was disappointed, believing I had to be at least at 7. Jen arrived and Linda suggested I get into the shower, which felt wonderful on my achy body and relieved the intensity of the painful contractions. I think I was in the shower for nearly an hour, but it felt so good! Then, I got out and we walked the hospital halls to progress the labor. Standing up and walking really minimized the pain of the contractions, but it seemed like they would never end.
Back in our room, Linda did another exam, and I was at 7 centimeters. Back in the shower! I could barely stand up now as the contractions were so intense and the pressure unbearable. This time I mostly sat in the chair in the shower with the water on the highest heat beating down on my back. I had to keep shifting positions because I was very uncomfortable. After the hot shower, Linda helped me into the bed where she had me lie on my side and put my leg up. Wow! That was painful!
The anesthesiologist’s nurse came in to ask a million questions and tell me about my pain relief options. I remember feeling very annoyed at the volume of questions even though I repeatedly told the nurse that I was not interested in an epidural or narcotics. Plus, I was trying to get through some intense contractions.
When she finally left, Linda had me stand back up and the pain of the pressure was unbearable! Linda had me do what she called the “labor dance” where I swayed my hips back and forth while holding onto Daniel’s shoulders. Linda wasn’t too satisfied with my swaying--What can I say? I have no rhythm!-- so she sways them for me. I didn’t think the pressure could be any more intense but it was! I even bit Daniel on the nape of the neck a couple of times and squeezed his hands so hard he had to pry my fingers open. However, I did know that the pain was good because it meant Kate was moving down and into the birth canal.
Back in the bed, I once again resumed that horrible side-lying position while in transition, vomiting orange drink all over the place even on Daniel. I remember being very mean to everyone around me, especially to the person who was so sweetly wiping my forehead with a damp washcloth. I didn’t want anyone touching me! Daniel had been doing such a great job of rubbing my back, arms, legs, and hands, but at this point I didn’t want anyone near me. I took that washcloth and hurled it across the room! I lost control a few times and really didn’t think I could take anymore, but then I felt a heavy sensation and an overwhelming urge to push. I announced my need to push as I pushed. I couldn’t help it. Linda had been telling me to listen to my body, and I did. But then she wanted to check to make sure I was fully dilated, and I was!!! Time to push!!!
I sat up in bed with my legs up: Daniel held my right leg and Jen my left. Pushing was difficult because it’s a matter of timing the pushing with the contraction. It took a while for me to find the rhythm but eventually I got it although Emily, the nurse, informed me that I was not pushing hard enough. At first I was annoyed but then motivated. I thought I would have an aneurism or burst some blood vessels but I didn’t. I told everyone, “I just want her out of me!” So, I put everything into my pushing until the nurses told me that Kate was crowning. I remember Jen said, “She has dark hair!” I couldn’t believe it, but when they put the mirror in front of me and I saw Kate’s head, my heart leapt into my throat. I wanted to see her so bad and for the pain to end. There was a burning sensation as she crowned, and I knew we were almost there. The next two contractions I pushed with all my might, and Kate came out!
The nurse put Kate on my chest, and I was in tears as I met my baby girl for the first time. Jen cut her cord after it stopped pulsing, and I tried to feed her. Linda gave me some pitocin to get the placenta out and to stop my bleeding, which was pretty heavy. I did tear a little so Linda had to stitch me up, but all I could do was look at my beautiful daughter in my arms. After getting stitched up, my parents and mother-in-law came into the room, and we rolled over to the postpartum room.
Catherine Anne Tidwell was born at 5:12 p.m. on Tuesday, October 28, 2008.
She was 7 lbs., 8.8 oz. and 20 ½ in. long.
Labor and delivery: 13 hours total
I will never forget the beauty and awesomeness of this experience and the empowerment I felt as a woman who had done something so natural and yet so unnatural (or maybe supernatural) in this day and age. The whole birth experience is a miracle of God and yet He has endowed His creation with the ability to birth without the need for intervention (in most cases). My heart is burdened by society's message to women that we cannot give birth without an induction, an epidural, some drugs, a C-section. We can! It isn't easy but it is possible. We need only to educate ourselves and trust in the bodies God has blessed us with.
