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Daddy

"The Tales of the Tidwells" would not exist without the head of our home, Daniel or "Da-Da," as Kate refers to him. Still, sadly, most of my posts are about Kate or myself. Poor Daniel is generally left out. Thus, this post is devoted exclusively to him.

Daniel is a one-of-a-kind individual: the office cut-up, the family harrasser, the annoying little brother who refuses to grow up and act his age. Maybe he has Peter Pan syndrome or maybe he just simply derives pleasure from antagonizing others.



If he doesn't pick on you, Daniel doesn't care about you, and Daniel cares about everyone. His generosity and love are not immediately obvious because of his humility and the way in which he shows love through pestering, but this unique man has taught me immensely about giving selflessly of time, energy, and money and about not taking life so seriously. He is an extraordinary example for his young daughter and a stress-reliever for his intense wife.

Nearly every Saturday for the past several months Daniel has helped his dad and brother build a house for Granny Ann, Daniel's grandmother. Granny Ann, who has been living in an assisted living facility for the past few years, will be moving into her new house at the end of the year, and she is very blessed because the house is beautiful! Despite working all week, Daniel spends nearly all day Saturday working on this house. I personally have gotten frustrated because Daniel isn't home, but he is serving his family as he should be.

That leads me to another quality I admire in Daniel and that provides a good example for Kate: Daniel respects his parents, even when he is at odds with them, and is loyal to his family. Family--ours, his, and mine--come first to him. Still, he has to pick on his nieces, nephew, and sister-in-law Emily to show he loves them, and if harrassment is any indicator of his love, then I would say he is hopelessly devoted to them and us.



Daniel works hard for us and for others, without grumbling or complaining, because of his love. He sacrifices for us, for his family, because that is just the kind of person he is.

God's Wisdom Revealed

This past weekend I was blessed to be able to leave Kate with Daniel and go with my Bible study group to my parents' cabin for a little getaway. This marked my first overnight stay away from Kate and Daniel's first night alone with her. I was not worried about Daniel or Kate...well, maybe a little concerned for Daniel's sanity! But I knew he could handle it and he did. I am so proud of him!! (I am hoping for a blog post from Daddy's perspective on how things went!)

During the less than 24-hours I was away, I found myself really thinking, praying, and listening to God. That might sound odd considering I was in the company of eight women but let me explain. I woke up early Sunday morning, just before six, and knew I would not be able to go back to sleep. I felt this compulsion to get up, get dressed, and go down to the dock overlooking the lake. A foggy mist glided along and seemed to drift upwards off the chilly water as birds flew by overhead and the sun slowly emerged. Besides the birds' flapping wings and the occasional gunshot in the distance, everything was eerily still and calm, a perfect time to listen to God and hear His wisdom. So, I prayed. In the midst of a new day awakening, I opened my heart to Him and then sat quietly and listened.

Sometimes we justify our desires when we want something badly enough. I could easily rationalize that I needed to go back to school, that Kate and Daniel would be fine, that I could juggle all of it and still have time for God. But in all honesty, and in my heart, I knew this to be a lie. If I went back to school, everyone would suffer: my husband, my child, our household, our finances, but most importantly, my relationship with God. Since being out of school, I have had more time to spend in the Word and in prayer, and now I am involved in two amazing in-depth studies with other Christian women, which has truly blessed my life. Sadly, I wanted God to say, "Go for it! School is your passion and you deserve it!" But as I much I wanted to, I didn't hear that. Instead, I heard God whispering to my heart, telling me to trust in His timing, to stop being selfish, and to be patient.

Like a loving father, God knows what is best for us, and sometimes our desires do not align with His will. Sometimes we aren't ready for what we want. Sometimes He wants us to do something else. My prayer is that I will be attentive and responsive to God's will for me and that He will give me wisdom to understand it.

Wisdom

My Bible study group has just embarked on a study of I Corinthians, and we are using Max Lucado's Life Lessons as the secondary text. As a woman who as a child used to sit on her bedroom floor for hours reading and memorizing trivia and who has spent 80% of her life in school, I have been particularly challenged by what Paul has to say about worldly wisdom.

"...God has made the wisdom of the world foolish...God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and He chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose what the world thinks is unimportant and what the world looks down on and thinks is nothing in order to destroy what the world thinks is important. God did this so that no one can brag in His presence." I Cor. 1:20b, 27-29

The world places wisdom on a pedestal along with wealth, power, beauty, and ability. We admire those people who "know a lot" and aspire to be smarter so that people will admire us too. In other cultures, the wise--usually associated with the elderly--are revered; their advice is sought and followed because they are believed to have experienced life and learned valuable lessons from it. I know I have a few "wise" friends that I consult on a regular basis, namely my mom and dad (not that they're "elderly"). However, while I don't think there is anything wrong with consulting others for counsel, it is important to consider who you are consulting and whether or not that person's values align with yours. God wants us to consult Him first and foremost, and His word makes it clear that He wants us to ask Him for spiritual wisdom.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

Right now I feel compelled to ask God for wisdom to make decisions that will put His wisdom--the wisdom that is eternal, without limit, and without error--first and foremost in my life. This request is especially pertinent right now as I consider returning to school and acquiring more "worldly" wisdom. In particular, I am concerned about how this decision might affect my quest for God's perfect wisdom. I ask for your prayers and Godly counsel.

My first birthday party!!!

On Saturday, October 24th, we had Kate's first birthday party at Barfield Crescent Park where Kate and I walk every morning. After a week of warm weather, Saturday was a very cold day with gusting winds and even rain! But friends and family all gathered to celebrate Kate's big day regardless of the weather.



Here are Mema Jean, Robby, Lacey, and Ellie Jean drinking hot chocolate.



Mops and Pops (Daniel's parents)

Mom made a delicious chocolate cake with cream cheese icing, and Dad, who has uncovered a hidden talent for cake artistry, did an excellent job creating a puppy dog for Kate's first cake.



Kate was all smiles all day. I think she realized that this was her special day because she was surrounded by people who love her and her favorite foods especially yummy cake.

Baby Steps

When Kate was first born, I anticipated her first real smile. When she was 3 months old, I couldn't wait until she could sit up by herself. As she has grown, Kate has gone through all the normal baby stages and each has been an amazing phenomenon to watch. People tell me ALL the time, "Just wait until she's crawling! Then, you'll be running everywhere." And when she started scooting and crawling around 5 months, I was fascinated by how she figured it out. For a while, I thought I was going to have to teach her and wasn't sure how to do that, but just as she naturally learned how to smile, sit up, and reach, Kate also knew, as if by instinct, how to move around. And, yes, I have had to run to catch her numerous times but I don't mind.

At 11 months Kate has mastered crawling and moves so rapidly that I can hardly keep up with her at times. Now, just before her first birthday, she has entered into a new phase of development: She is walking! Of course, like most babies, she cruised around the coffee table and from chair to couch to cabinet to table but always with the utmost caution, fearful of falling, as if the distance from bottom to ground was of Mount Everest heights. This weekend, though, my Cowardly Lion has received the Wizard's gift and has been taking steps on her own. Daniel and I have turned off the TV to watch our little one, which is actually much more entertaining because her baby steps ususally end with a belly flop to the floor. Wipeout! Still, she is walking! And I love it! At times I become frustrated and think how I can't wait until Kate does this or that, but really I need to be enjoying the precious few moments I have with my baby because they are so fleeting. Soon Kate will be running and riding a tricycle and then playing ball and who knows what else. She won't want to curl up in Mommy's arms and sleep. Right now I need to cherish this time with my baby girl. And as I say this, Kate is going through all the cards that she has pulled out of my wallet--her favorite quiet pastime and Mommy's least favorite chore to clean up. Gotta run!

Being a Mommy

Yesterday when I was finishing up Kate's birth story and looking at the pictures of her after she was born, tears came to my eyes as I realized how quickly time has passed. In less than three weeks, she will celebrate her first birthday. A lot has changed. I have changed. And in more ways than one.

A year ago I was consumed with school. Reading Chaucer and Twain and writing an "A paper" were my focus. Now these "lofty" concerns have been replaced with weekly dinner menus, grocery shopping, and household chores. My once neat--though rarely clean--house is now littered with puzzle pieces, books, and toys. I am no longer so concerned about what I wear or how I look. What matters more to me is that Kate is clean and well-dressed. If I get a shower and can find a pair of pants that aren't wrinkled, I am happy. I still make to-do lists, but now if I don't get everything done, I am okay with putting things off "until tomorrow."

I also find that as a mom I am less concerned with what other people think about me, and, believe me, I have gotten many stares and heard countless comments about some of the "strange" things I do. For instance, having a baby with no pain medicine, carrying her around for a year in a baby carrier instead of a stroller, breastfeeding past one year, and bedsharing are all vastly unpopular in parenting circles today, especially in the South. But you know what? I could care less because I believe I am doing what is best for my child. What else should a mother do?

But mostly I have learned to find an order in the midst of chaos and how to run our household in a somewhat effective and peaceful way (or at least I hope Daniel would say so). I have become a coupon fiend and revel in finding the best bargains and paying the lowest price possible. Daniel is, of course, very happy about that because we are saving money, something I have never been good at doing on my own. Now it is a personal competition to see how much I can save each week, and call me weird (it's nothing new!), but I relish looking at my receipts, especially when they say that my savings exceeded my spending! There's something about having a child that puts finances into a new perspective: a selfless, more practical means of conservation. Dave Ramsey is my new best friend.

I am also trying to make our house a safe haven from the storms of life: a place where we retreat to from the busyness of the world. Rather than finding solace in activities and outings, I feel such peace at home: on the couch with my husband, playing with our daughter, and making "Mommy sandwiches." Yes, I have changed a lot in the last year but, I hope, for the better.

The house is still never clean and now rarely neat, but I feel content in knowing that our family is healthy, happy, and blessed.