I remember many moons ago when I would go to bed, sleep peacefully through the night, and wake up well-rested and ready to go. A bad night was when I had a nightmare or had drank too much caffeine a little too late in the day and couldn't immediately drift off to sleep. But those days ended about three years ago when I was pregnant with Kate. Even after Kate started sleeping through the night, which wasn't until she was nearly TWO!, I was pregnant again, and everyone knows a pregnant body is not conducive to good sleep.
Cora started out a great sleeper. She would take three good naps a day and sleep five hours straight at night. Then, about a month ago, things changed. She had a growth spurt and wanted to eat every two hours at night. And then she started teething, which resulted in waking every four hours when her pain medicine quit working. Still, on good days, she takes two two-hour naps and a shorter nap later in the day, but lately that has been hit or miss. For awhile there I was stressing ridiculously about her lack of sleep until I realized there wasn't anything I could really do about it; I mean I couldn't make her sleep, and my methods of getting her to sleep did not always work. I had become reluctantly content with the fact that this child is not a good sleeper. Big surprise. Neither is her sister.
So when I went to bed last night, I totally expected to be up within an hour to feed Cora because she had been asleep since 6:45. Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 3:30 and my little angel had not cried out even once! I panicked. Was she still breathing? Had she gotten her blanket over her face and suffocated? Cora had moved out of the monitor camera's range, so I quietly tiptoed into her room and saw that she was sleeping peacefully. That is, until I tripped on a bag of diapers and woke her up. Only me.
Still, this was the first time EVER that Cora has slept for nine hours straight. And that means that I slept for six whole uninterrupted hours. I'm a new woman this morning. And while I know that this night might not happen again for months, maybe years, I thank God (and my praying friends) for that precious sleep.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Weary Days
So, for the past few weeks I've been going to bed around 8:00-8:30. I feel ancient. I want to eat by 5 and be in bed with the sun setting. I'm so tired of being tired. I thought that when the weather warmed up and the sun shone more brightly that I would perk up and come out of hibernation, that I would wake up and get moving, but that hasn't happened. There are moments during the day when I go go go, but then by 2:00 I'm pooped. It probably doesn't help that I'm up at least twice at night with Cora and then begin the day around 6:00 with Kate who rises to greet the sun. She is my morning glory. She wakes up talking and doesn't stop until bedtime.
Still, despite being tired, the girls are thriving and that is a relief! If they weren't, then I would be concerned. Kate has started a new thing where she wants to read like 15 books in Mommy and Daddy's bed in the mornings and then at night before bedtime with Daddy. That child has memorized the words to all her favorite books: Raindrop Plop, Dimmity Duck, Goodnight Moon, and all the nursery rhymes. Here she is with her stack o' books. A bookworm like her mommy!
And I have to brag on Kate: She knows all of her letters! Not just the "ABC Song" but she can recognize and say them, which is pretty impressive for a two-year-old. I'm so proud of my little nerd!
Cora has recently figured out how to roll over from her back to her tummy and loves to roll around in her crib when she should be sleeping! At four-months-old, Cora laughs and smiles all the time and has learned how to blow raspberries, which thoroughly amuses her.
Here are a few pictures of our girls now...
I suppose running after two little ones and fixing three meals a day in addition to all the chores we do and "school time" would make one feel pretty tired by the end of the day. But the girls are both growing and learning so much that I know the long hard days aren't a waste. And one day soon enough I will get plenty of sleep again. Until then I'll just fix myself another cup of coffee and read Kate some books.
Still, despite being tired, the girls are thriving and that is a relief! If they weren't, then I would be concerned. Kate has started a new thing where she wants to read like 15 books in Mommy and Daddy's bed in the mornings and then at night before bedtime with Daddy. That child has memorized the words to all her favorite books: Raindrop Plop, Dimmity Duck, Goodnight Moon, and all the nursery rhymes. Here she is with her stack o' books. A bookworm like her mommy!
And I have to brag on Kate: She knows all of her letters! Not just the "ABC Song" but she can recognize and say them, which is pretty impressive for a two-year-old. I'm so proud of my little nerd!
Cora has recently figured out how to roll over from her back to her tummy and loves to roll around in her crib when she should be sleeping! At four-months-old, Cora laughs and smiles all the time and has learned how to blow raspberries, which thoroughly amuses her.
Here are a few pictures of our girls now...
I suppose running after two little ones and fixing three meals a day in addition to all the chores we do and "school time" would make one feel pretty tired by the end of the day. But the girls are both growing and learning so much that I know the long hard days aren't a waste. And one day soon enough I will get plenty of sleep again. Until then I'll just fix myself another cup of coffee and read Kate some books.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Menu Plan for the Week of February 20
So I haven't been posting my menu plan lately for a number of reasons but decided that it was time to start doing it again to keep me sane. Guess it's an accountability thing plus when I write my menu down AND post it online I feel a sense of calm come over me that, hey, this is what we're eating this week. Stop trying to find something better to fix. I love that I can wake up in the morning and prep my meals during breakfast and not worry about it later in the afternoon when things are hectic. So, I'll shut up now.
Sunday: We had leftover pizza we made Friday night and pork Daniel grilled and roasted. Delicious!
Monday: Tonight we're having chicken fricasse with whole wheat egg noodles and broccoli. Kroger has chicken thighs on sale for 79 cents a pound, so I stocked up. Plus, I just made cake brownies with sliced almonds for dessert. I've been on a serious brownie kick lately. This is the third time in three weeks we've had brownies. From scratch. Only.
Tuesday: We will be having fish tacos with mango salsa and refried beans. Kroger has wild-caught cod and mahi on sale this week for $3.99/lb. Great price! Plus, it fits in nicely with our resolution to eat more fish and less meat this year.
Wednesday: White beans and cornbread. It's bean night! (I'll soak these Tuesday night so they're ready to cook Wednesday morning. I like my beans to cook a long time on low heat.)
Thursday: Hamburger steak with potato wedges and sugar snap peas
Friday: Pizza night! I picked up some hot Italian sausage on clearance at Kroger today that I'll brown up and use, plus whatever veggies I have on hand. I made a ton of pizza sauce last week that I froze for future pizza nights that we'll be using with some pesto.
Saturday: Leftovers and whatever Daniel makes. I have officially decided not to cook on the weekends.
Happy week!
Sunday: We had leftover pizza we made Friday night and pork Daniel grilled and roasted. Delicious!
Monday: Tonight we're having chicken fricasse with whole wheat egg noodles and broccoli. Kroger has chicken thighs on sale for 79 cents a pound, so I stocked up. Plus, I just made cake brownies with sliced almonds for dessert. I've been on a serious brownie kick lately. This is the third time in three weeks we've had brownies. From scratch. Only.
Tuesday: We will be having fish tacos with mango salsa and refried beans. Kroger has wild-caught cod and mahi on sale this week for $3.99/lb. Great price! Plus, it fits in nicely with our resolution to eat more fish and less meat this year.
Wednesday: White beans and cornbread. It's bean night! (I'll soak these Tuesday night so they're ready to cook Wednesday morning. I like my beans to cook a long time on low heat.)
Thursday: Hamburger steak with potato wedges and sugar snap peas
Friday: Pizza night! I picked up some hot Italian sausage on clearance at Kroger today that I'll brown up and use, plus whatever veggies I have on hand. I made a ton of pizza sauce last week that I froze for future pizza nights that we'll be using with some pesto.
Saturday: Leftovers and whatever Daniel makes. I have officially decided not to cook on the weekends.
Happy week!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Winter of My Discontent
Daniel and Kate built this snowman the last time it snowed and I feel like it accurately represents how I feel right now. About ready to fall over. Backwards.
I'm tired. What mother of small children isn't, right? But there are days that I think this weariness will never end. That Cora will never sleep through the night. That Kate will never be potty-trained. That the house will never be clean. That I will never have a moment to myself. I feel like this snowman must have felt before he toppled over: wobbly, uncertain, doubtful of myself and my future. Will I simply melt away or will something of me remain?
I know everyone says, "This is just a season. It will soon pass." But this "winter" seems to be lasting for an eternity. Hurry up Spring!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Mothering: Trying to Find a Middle Ground
Before Kate was born, I never gave much thought to my parenting style. I think I thought parenting, or mothering, would come natural. By instinct. I knew about "maternal instinct:" Mothers know when their babies are tired, when their cries communicate hunger, and when their little ones just need to be snuggled. And I believed that once my child was born, I would attain this instinct and only have to act. Boy was I wrong!
Like most first time moms, I made A LOT of mistakes (still do)! I nursed Kate every time she cried. I didn't realize that sometimes babies cry because they're bored or lonely or wet. I just assumed she was always hungry, and her incessant wailing sent me over the edge. A good mommy, I thought, could stop the crying. I couldn't. Therefore, I thought, I must not be a good mommy. I rocked and nursed and rocked and nursed, and when Kate was finally asleep, I would tip-toe to the crib and very, very gently lay her down. Of course not a minute later she would wake up crying. I couldn't let her lie there and cry so I would repeat the process over and over until we both fell asleep in the glider. This happened for many nights until I realized how much I missed my bed! But at that point instead of putting Kate in the crib, I brought her into bed with us. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. I could nurse so much easier without getting up and then we could both go right back to sleep. But then as babies do, Kate grew bigger and bigger until at a year she was still in our bed. Daniel ended up sleeping in another room and Kate and I in another. Our full-sized bed just wouldn't cut it with three.
I was exhausted too! Kate was not a good sleeper, and she would only fall asleep either in the Ergo (baby carrier) or nursing. So, when she needed to nap, I had to either walk for an hour or lie down with her. While the exercise and rest were good for me, I felt trapped, enslaved to my child. Needless to say, my parenting style was to do whatever it took to keep Kate from crying and becoming sleep-deprived.
I remember thinking that if I ever had another child, I would do everything differently. So, when I found out I was pregnant with Cora, I began to do some serious soul-searching and research to determine the best way to mother my children without losing myself and my mind in the process. What I found was a parenting style that fit my type-A organized personality to the T. First of all, Cora would sleep in her crib, not in Mommy and Daddy's bed, and when she cried, I would not automatically assume she needed food. She would eat every 3 hours, give or take, followed by some playtime and then nap time. I liked the idea of knowing exactly when she would need to eat and that I didn't have to nurse her every time she cried. Everything about this parenting style seemed perfect until Cora came and I had to implement it. Then, I learned that while having a schedule served me very well, it did not always consider her unique needs. Sometimes she needs to eat before the three hour mark, and sometimes she needs to sleep longer than the schedule allows. And sometimes Mommy has to get out of the house or she'll go nuts!! This time I was not a slave to my child but to my schedule.
Let's just say I am still learning how to become the mother God wants me to be. He is teaching me how to love my babies and meet their needs while at the same time remembering the needs of my husband and myself. A strict schedule isn't the answer and neither is no schedule. Crying is part of being a baby and will not traumatize my children so that they become serial killers later in life. There has to be a middle ground. On my journey to joyful motherhood, I am developing a maternal instinct that is in tune with myself and my little ones. I can only imagine what the Lord will teach me next!
Like most first time moms, I made A LOT of mistakes (still do)! I nursed Kate every time she cried. I didn't realize that sometimes babies cry because they're bored or lonely or wet. I just assumed she was always hungry, and her incessant wailing sent me over the edge. A good mommy, I thought, could stop the crying. I couldn't. Therefore, I thought, I must not be a good mommy. I rocked and nursed and rocked and nursed, and when Kate was finally asleep, I would tip-toe to the crib and very, very gently lay her down. Of course not a minute later she would wake up crying. I couldn't let her lie there and cry so I would repeat the process over and over until we both fell asleep in the glider. This happened for many nights until I realized how much I missed my bed! But at that point instead of putting Kate in the crib, I brought her into bed with us. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. I could nurse so much easier without getting up and then we could both go right back to sleep. But then as babies do, Kate grew bigger and bigger until at a year she was still in our bed. Daniel ended up sleeping in another room and Kate and I in another. Our full-sized bed just wouldn't cut it with three.
I was exhausted too! Kate was not a good sleeper, and she would only fall asleep either in the Ergo (baby carrier) or nursing. So, when she needed to nap, I had to either walk for an hour or lie down with her. While the exercise and rest were good for me, I felt trapped, enslaved to my child. Needless to say, my parenting style was to do whatever it took to keep Kate from crying and becoming sleep-deprived.
I remember thinking that if I ever had another child, I would do everything differently. So, when I found out I was pregnant with Cora, I began to do some serious soul-searching and research to determine the best way to mother my children without losing myself and my mind in the process. What I found was a parenting style that fit my type-A organized personality to the T. First of all, Cora would sleep in her crib, not in Mommy and Daddy's bed, and when she cried, I would not automatically assume she needed food. She would eat every 3 hours, give or take, followed by some playtime and then nap time. I liked the idea of knowing exactly when she would need to eat and that I didn't have to nurse her every time she cried. Everything about this parenting style seemed perfect until Cora came and I had to implement it. Then, I learned that while having a schedule served me very well, it did not always consider her unique needs. Sometimes she needs to eat before the three hour mark, and sometimes she needs to sleep longer than the schedule allows. And sometimes Mommy has to get out of the house or she'll go nuts!! This time I was not a slave to my child but to my schedule.
Let's just say I am still learning how to become the mother God wants me to be. He is teaching me how to love my babies and meet their needs while at the same time remembering the needs of my husband and myself. A strict schedule isn't the answer and neither is no schedule. Crying is part of being a baby and will not traumatize my children so that they become serial killers later in life. There has to be a middle ground. On my journey to joyful motherhood, I am developing a maternal instinct that is in tune with myself and my little ones. I can only imagine what the Lord will teach me next!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Mema, we miss you!
It is hard to believe that one year ago today I lost my Mema Garner. Looking back at a CD of pictures from her 80th birthday party in 2008, I remember quite clearly why I miss her so much. She was a beautiful woman with a calming presence who made everyone who came in contact with her feel comfortable and loved. When I would come in and sit with her from time to time, she and I would talk at length, mainly about me. She was just that kind of person. Easy to talk to, patient, never quick to judge or criticize (although she did have her opinions and would express them freely when necessary), and an accommodating, hospitable person always concerned with others' comfort.
I am sad that my daughters will never get to sit and talk with my Mema and know her the way I did. Yet as I look at my Mom, I believe they will have that opportunity if only in a slightly different way because my Mom is so much like my Mema: someone who loves people and cares dearly for others' happiness. It is amazing how as teenagers we swear we will never be like our own parents and yet in many ways they are who we actually become. Looking at my Mom, I see my Mema. And I hope that one day my children will see their Gram Gram in me.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Imitate Me?
Daniel and I have been watching a parenting DVD by Chip Ingram that has really gotten us talking about how we are raising Kate and Cora, our strengths and weaknesses as parents, and how important it is to model the behavior and attitude we want our children to have. It's amazing how Kate watches us so closely and repeats things we say and do, saying things we don't even know she's heard although it's usually from one of us. When I heard her say, "I swear, honey. That stinks!" the other day after changing her diaper, I knew she'd heard that one from me. She's recently started spitting too because she sees her dear Daddy doing it. We're working on that bad habit now too!
And sweet little Cora, although still so little, is carefully observing and making mental notes of what her big sis is doing too. It's scary to think that I am under so much scrutiny and yet if I were living my life as I should, I wouldn't be so concerned.
In Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul tells us to: "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God." Verse 1 is what really hit home to me today. As a child of God, I am called to imitate Him, that is, to be holy as He is holy (Lev. 11:44).
Am I living a holy life? I must set myself apart from the world, which pulls me in so many directions but always away from God. I need to rededicate my life to God every day, giving Him free rein. And I must allow His Spirit to work in me and help me to overcome sin. The stakes couldn't be any higher: our children are watching.
And sweet little Cora, although still so little, is carefully observing and making mental notes of what her big sis is doing too. It's scary to think that I am under so much scrutiny and yet if I were living my life as I should, I wouldn't be so concerned.
In Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul tells us to: "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God." Verse 1 is what really hit home to me today. As a child of God, I am called to imitate Him, that is, to be holy as He is holy (Lev. 11:44).
Am I living a holy life? I must set myself apart from the world, which pulls me in so many directions but always away from God. I need to rededicate my life to God every day, giving Him free rein. And I must allow His Spirit to work in me and help me to overcome sin. The stakes couldn't be any higher: our children are watching.
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